Finally living my life: Gays who have made it out of hell

‘They know I am gay and they don’t care’

Stalking Facebook as I usually do, I saw a pic of an old friend George Stewart, in a fabulous mall in Amsterdam.  Its been a year since he made that heart thumping step on a plane, heading for the glory land or heaven called Amsterdam.  George applied for asylum, to escape the madness that is a homophobic Jamaica.  The truth is, I once took the impact of the madness for granted, not truly allowing myself to understand the cavernous and dynamic madness that is homophobia in Jamaica much less the impact it has on the lives of people…and not just gay people, but parents, teaches, students, vendors, politicians, etc.

Quite a few of my friends have decided to give up Jamaica’s ghost, looking at their pictures it seems as though they are happy, smiles are broad and wide, doing the things they have always wanted to do, living the life they want to live…and no one really cares that they are gay.  I can only imagine how liberating it is, to not have who you love, or have sex with become the thing that defines the other 99% of who you are, that has the potential to crash and burn your career or academic dreams, if you slip and your gayness falls out.  To go to church and explore your spirituality as you are, without the impression that something is very wrong with you and your ‘nastiness’, which is the cause of a demonic possession that no holy water or prayer can truly flush out.

Many gay Jamaicans use asylum as a way to escape the madness, the initial experience is a difficult one, and so many miss the Jamaica they love that are parts of them, and perhaps think about that big clock in Halfway tree or passing by an edifice that was part of their growing up, sharing in Jamaica’s success in sports and music, bursting at the seams to speak proudly of a home that they are unfortunately not welcomed.

If this freedom actually exists in reality and not just fairy tale dreams, then why aren’t other gay Jamaicans seeking asylum, why cant gay rights activism be about getting drones of gays out of situations that endanger not only their physical but also spiritual, mental and emotional well being.   It cannot be healthy to have so much despair around something that is so natural to those experiencing it.

Live and let live…heaven is everywhere, why should we stay in hell.

 

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5 thoughts on “Finally living my life: Gays who have made it out of hell

  1. TO ADD TO THAT ITS NOT THAT SIMPLE TOO ,,CAUSE THERE ARE LOTS OF CHALLENGES, ADOPTING TO TO A NEW LIFESTYLE ,CULTURE,LANGUAGE,FOOD,AND WIDE VARIETY OF RELIGIONS,ALSO,,,MAKING FRIENDS ALL OVER,,FOR ME AFTER A TIME YOU ALSO BECOME DEPRESS ,MISSING FAMILIES AND LOVE ONES,,PEOPLE ARE NOT THAT LOVING,,ITS ALL ABOUT SEX,YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL,,BUT IN ALL THIS ITS BETTER TO BE SAFE,,,,LOVE YOU STACY

    ,,

  2. I share these sentiments! my gay hubby left me like a year ago and filed for asylum in the states, altho he fell into a pot of luck it wasn’t easy for him at first….but he said he was so happy to be in a place where he could embrace the man he loves openly and freely without looking over his shoulder or walking about his business not hearing BATTTYBWOI guh dead.and it is the best feeling in the world, perhaps only synonymous with a slave being free for the first few mins. As sad as i was to let him him go and as much as i miss him and feel like a part of me is missing, just hearing the happiness in his voice n seeing his face light up when relating his new found freedom i had to bee happy for him. He is the purest soul i know and he certainly was not cut out for the abuse he had to endure here. I have often wondered y those who long for this type of freedom don’t leave as well, but i can imagine how heart wrenching it must be to pack up and leave the place u love the most as awful as life is here for us….i mean we do have a right to be here just as much as anyone else does…i personally cant imagine being happy living anywhere else altho he constantly beseeches me to join him i don’t think i’d be happy I love Jamaica n Jamaicans too much and i don’t think what i do with my vagina should be the basis for residency. So i’ll stay and conform and remember not to hold her hand too tightly when we r out not to look at her too lovingly and certainly fight every urge i have to kiss her beautiful face for no reason other than its irresistibly beautiful, and kissing beautiful women comes naturally to me 🙂 I’ll try to remember that in my own country my lifestyle is synonymous with a capital offence as our demise is lobbied for more than serial rapists or killers, i don’t hear songs burning out gunmen who a walk and slaughter ppl for a sport, but dem bun out battyman n sodomite so gayness must b d capital offence in Jamaica, churches marching for d gays but not for the demise of the Dons, or Violent Music and political corruption its such a mess that ppl dont see anything wrong with an artist who spews ‘murder u likkle bredda pon u funeral day cut the newborn throat cah u kno we nuh play ‘ but have a heart a bun out two women tht love each other that nah bother a soul! It truly is unfair and at times i can understand the anger and frustration the members of my community feel, the double standard of Sin and Religion and what is deemed socially acceptable is BEYOND ridiculous but WELCOME TO JAMROCK what do we do… Leave or do what humans do best in uncomfortable situations wee adapt

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