I’ve been in love a few times, with variations of the same emotions, I can easily recall the ‘love’ I felt each.
Some feelings run straight through each experience, a common methodology to my love. I want to be around my love all the time, this time I am freakishly content to stare…just look at you, freckles in place, each hair on your face, wondering what happened on the tuesday before your exam back in 1991. Do you prefer silk or cotton, when we get to that place of pain, will you want to leave and when you do will you turn back, so we can try again.
Will you understand, I am a simple pliable chap, and all that is good enough is simply for you to love me back. Do you know I will do whatever you please, as loving you is all that I need, that my heart embodies all of me, my dreams, fears, emotions, unseen tears. And that the only way I know to love is to give my heart entirely…unconditionally, left weak and open, vulnerability behind what may seems to be just me normally.
Will you know that when I smile, I put my all into recording the milliseconds, accentuating its presence – I have had enough pain to recall and measure the intensities of its depths, knowing fully well that nothing can stop its gouging duress, but time, hope and patience…and that it is all a test of my strength. I am strong, strong enough to hold tightly to each moment of bliss, when my lips meet your kiss, and violent mirth weaken my knees and stop my breath.
I want to be my best with you, so make up and lipgloss become a priority, not because I think I am not pretty, but because you deserve to have the ultimate; beautiful, smart, and witty. I am no longer comfortable with ordinary, I love this feeling of ‘best’ all over me….you treat me like royalty and when you make-love to me, my mind travels with your hands. Going to where you touch me, noting when you squeeze me, when you bite me and kiss me. I listen keenly to the sounds of your voice, look closely at your facial expressions. My mind travels with you, and I lend all my walls to you.
I’ve been in love so many times before, and I know where it ends is pain. This time, I hope when it hurts, you will be there to make it all good again. I could do a lifetime, as that is how unconditional love should be…pain is not enemy with pleasure, pleasure and pain go hand it hand, I want you to keep me by your side through the sunshine and the rain. I am ready to do this all over again.