Unbelievable

I find myself thinking alot about you.  Wondering how could it be that nothing you said was really true.

You changed my life in the moment I laid my eyes on you…so strong was the love I felt for you, disillusioned and determined to change everyone’s view. I became obsessed with creating the perfect environment, simply as another way to provide for you, make our world comfortable.

It is difficult to believe that nothing you said was really true.

My fingers twitch to dial your number, the same ones that for years I couldn’t get enough of, never hesitating, never thinking.  Those numbers were my favourite to put a smile on my face and purpose in my steps.  Could I really have been so blind?

Now my heart races at the thought of even holding the phone, I know I cannot and will  never punch those 7 numbers again….my heart races in vain…the building fantasy, that perhaps this is just a really bad dream, gets washed away again by the tears that now only flow on the inside, disappointingly sometimes making its way to my glossy eyes.

The words you said, the way everything went…a bad dream…unbelievably.

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