Today I had a profound milestone in my relationship. He told me he wanted me to be honest and that he could handle the truth. AND, I looked into his eyes and believed and for a split second I felt the weight fall off my shoulders…as if the entire planet’s need to be honest was just validated. The fear of the repercussions of truth no longer bind us…our finger nails not worn down by the stress of where this will go, as we steadily and wearily push parts of each truth, anticipating the breaking point.
He’s such a beautiful soul. Falling short of many people’s expectations and indeed of his own aspirations…he is a beautiful soul. If my sensibilities allowed, I would even say he is the perfect man…I have not seen violence from him..even in situations where violence would be a preferred reaction, he is always cool and collected, all the while still caring. Perhaps it is too, that I never ever imagined myself here…with a man…why the sign of anything too permanent freaks me, yet still he holds me steady. In 2 years we have had many scenarios where he should have left, but he never left. He loves my daughter and considers her his own, but most beautiful is how much she loves him. Another amazing thing about this man, is even when he is piss-mad or should be piss-mad, he has my back and is always there for me, he is the first one to make up even if he’s not the one that’s wrong. I often wonder if he is real or is his game just strong. Then again game for what…
I am not the easiest to deal with. My life situation is also not the sweetest, my bank account is empty and too many times I will need a lift. He pulls me up, he motivates me, and has never encouraged me wrong…he provides for me…he cooks for me. He blesses me.
used to be my CC…now my forever D